I wrote this a while back, and keep it usually near my desk, or have had it near the sink where I brush my teeth and can see it daily.
If this is my highest good and will be that of all life everywhere...
Please open my eye to oneness, truth, purity, good, love, and beauty. Make me a beacon of light where there is darkness, and the unseen vibration in a chord that reverberates in the heart of every living thing. Give me the strength of acceptance and forgiveness and the ability to love unconditionally. Spare me of anger. Awaken me within. Empower me to listen more than speak. Make my tongue a sweet one. Breath life through me and into my family, friends, and students. With each artistic expression, provide my fingers with the same life giving force from which all creation emerges. Keep me humble, simple, and grateful. Eliminate my ego and fear. Retain my innocence as well as inwardness. Make each of my actions evolutionary. Preserve my balance, dignity, alignment, and health. Bless me to read my prayer around the world. When I am called upon, allow my family and Self to partake at your table for celebration of Being. Make us a thread woven in the quilt of Unity and all great things, seers, teachers, healers, artists, and messengers. Thank you. Amen.
Hey it's 11:57, technically still Wednesday, so I can still post for today's Way Back Whensday.
I’m about to take another leap in my life with this move back to St. Louis. I’m faced with both immense excitement and trepidation. The last time I can remember feeling this way was about 8 years ago when I was about to leap out of a plane. I was soon to be leaving to the Peace Corps and anticipating I would be gone for two years, my brother wanted to do something extra special for my birthday. He’d already gone once before, but wanted to do it again, and paid for us both to go tandem skydiving.
I remember that brief moment when the door of the plane opened. I was both thrilled and nervous. The wind was whipping past, and I’m about to let go of everything that feels safe and comfortable. The details of the world I know have diminished into faint patches of color and lines. My life is literally in the hands of some straps, buckles, a big piece of fabric, and a guy I just met. Any doubt or fear I leave back in the plane as there’s no turning back now. We leap! To my surprise, there are no butterflies like on a roller coaster. WAAAAHHHHOOOOO!!!!!!!
I’m yelling and screaming, the wind is super loud, and now I have instantaneous cotton mouth. Before I know it, my instructor directs me to pull the chord; and with a tug on the shoulders, complete and utter silence. It was awesome! I remember thinking this is what a bird must feel like. The closest I’ve come to such a beautiful silence is in caves, or sometimes when meditating. By the time my feet touched the ground, which was merely minutes, I was immediately ready to get in the plane and do it all over again.
As the boxes are piling up and I’m saying final goodbyes to close friends, I feel like I’m once again at the edge of the plane, leaving behind a sense of comfort and familiarity in a place that’s been my home for the majority of my adult life. Like always, I want instant results; our new home, the new jobs, new school for the kids, a routine, and an established reputation within the music community. Let’s go. I want the rush. However, I have to remind myself to breathe, be patient, and realize each of these steps takes time. It’s the unexpected things that turn out to be the most surprising, and the process most important. In the case of skydiving, it was about doing something amazing with my brother, and taking time to have fun.
With the move to St. Louis, I don’t have straps, buckles, fabric, or strangers strapped to my back. On the other hand, I have my life line wife, and kids strapped to my back, along with other family and friends (including my brother) happily awaiting. The land and what lies ahead is still somewhat faint, but there’s no turning back now. I’m jumping. As the details of my next destination become more clear, I wish to take in the beauty of everything I’ve been blessed and surrounded with here in Fairfield, give thanks in silence, and enjoy and accomplish more.
It seems an auspicious time to begin my blog finally. After much discussion with my wife, we've finally made the choice to move back to St. Louis where we're from. Fairfield, IA has been our home for the last 15 years or so, but since having the kids, we really miss being near family. We both grew up close to grandparents who had a significant role in our lives. Stephanie and I love Fairfield, but feel we're sort of depriving the family of the joy of their grandkids, niece, and nephew. We too have cousins and friends with kids, and I now have two nephews, all whom we'd like to be more involved with.
In addition, I'm ready professionally to jump into a bigger pond. I've been playing drums for many groups in Fairfield, and as a result, have become friends with so many loving, and talented individuals. I feel blessed with all of the drum work that's come my way. It's a bittersweet thing moving away, but I'm confident St. Louis will offer newer opportunities to further advance and refine my music business.